Estate planning is an uncomfortable topic for people because of its association with dying. And it’s a difficult conversation for adult children to have with their aging parents. They worry that their parents will become offended and believe that their heirs are just waiting for them to die.
Still, estate planning is an important conversation to have. But what is the best approach?
Why estate planning discussions are essential
Estate planning is more than the distribution of assets after a person dies. It also includes healthcare decisions, financial management if they become incapacitated and ensuring your parents’ values guide future choices.
Choosing the right time and place significantly impacts the direction of these types of conversations. You should avoid bringing up the topic of estate planning during holidays, family celebrations or during a stressful period. Instead, look for calm moments when your parents are more receptive.
Select a setting where you won’t be interrupted. Your parents’ home may be the best option, as that is where they feel most comfortable and secure. If you have siblings, you may want to include them in the discussion to avoid any claims of exclusion.
Explain to your parents that this discussion is about their well-being and wishes, and not about your inheritance concerns. Assure them that you love them and respect their autonomy. Emphasize that estate planning allows them to maintain control over their choices rather than letting the courts or family members make decisions for them, which might not align with their preferences.
Listen to their concerns about aging, such as being a burden to their children, running out of money or fear of losing their independence. Address these concerns by explaining how estate planning reduces burden and preserves their decision-making authority.
You might experience resistance, so don’t push too hard. Your parents may need time to process your discussion before taking action. When they’re ready to move forward with estate planning, you can help them find the right legal professional.